By Rita Wilkins, The Downsizing Designer™
How Women Can Experiment, Choose Themselves, and Create Purpose After the Empty Nest
When you become an empty nester, you are handed a blank space—and that can feel terrifying or exhilarating, depending on how you see it.
As a designer, I’ve learned something profound: no great design begins with certainty.
It begins with exploration.
When I reached this season of life, I realized I didn’t need to decide everything. I needed to try things on. I needed to prototype a life before committing to it.
Why This Season Is a Prototype, Not a Final Draft
So I began asking different questions:
What if I lived somewhere new, even temporarily, like a city I had always been curious about?
What if I traveled more—not to escape, but to explore places I had long wanted to see?
What if I said yes to dinners, friendships, relationships, and invitations I once didn’t have time for?
What if I tried activities I had always been curious about but never prioritized?
This season of life is not a final draft.
It is a prototype—a time for experimentation, curiosity, and play.
And prototypes are meant to be explored.
How Clarity Actually Emerges After 50
I tried new rhythms and routines.
I rearranged my days and my work schedule.
I paid attention to what energized me—and what quietly drained me.
Some ideas worked beautifully. Some didn’t.
And that was just as valuable.
Because clarity does not come from overthinking.
It comes from living.
When Your Children See You Choose Yourself
Then something unexpected happened.
My sons noticed.
When they came home for holidays and visits, they saw a mother who was alive, growing, and engaged with life. They told me how proud they were—not because I was busy, but because I was designing a life I genuinely wanted.
That’s when I realized something important:
Your children don’t need you to stay the same.
They need to see what’s possible when a woman designs her life on purpose.
What This Chapter Gives You Permission to Do
This is the chapter where you get to:
- Explore new places
- Build new friendships and relationships
- Entertain differently
- Try things you’ve never done before
- Create a home that fits who you are now—not who you used to be
And you get to do all of this without pressure.
This is not about getting it right.
It is about discovering what feels right for you.
Where to Begin If You Feel Unsure
If you are standing in the middle of this season wondering where to begin, start small:
Try one new thing.
Say yes to one new idea.
Let yourself experiment—without explanation.
You are not starting over.
You are designing forward.
And the most beautiful part?
This time, you are the client, and the life you are creating is entirely your own.
The Quiet After the Kids Leave Is Not Empty
Recently, I asked my Simplicity Circle membership community what they were doing with the quiet that followed this season of life.
Their answers stopped me in my tracks:
Planning.
Decluttering.
Organizing.
Reflecting.
They understood instinctively—this is the process.
When the house gets quiet, women don’t stop.
They begin again.
They reflect on who they are now.
They edit what no longer fits.
And then, naturally, they start planning what comes next.
The quiet is not empty.
It is productive.
It is the space where a new life takes shape.
And that is exactly how prototypes are meant to be played with.
Continue the Conversation
If this resonated with you, you may also enjoy reading or watching:
When the House Gets Quiet, I Finally Heard My Own Voice
If you are navigating the empty nest or intentionally designing what comes next, my bestselling book Downsize Your Life, Upgrade Your Lifestyle offers practical guidance and emotional clarity for creating a life that fits who you are now—not who you used to be.
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