Sometimes it takes another person—and a new perspective—to help us imagine what’s possible.
One of the greatest compliments my sons ever gave me wasn’t really intended as a compliment.
As a single mother raising two teenage boys, whenever we walked into a restaurant or someone’s home, they would tease me and say: “Our mom can see through walls.”
They were right. I can.
Not because I have a special gift, but because after more than 40 years of designing homes, I’ve learned to look beyond what is and imagine what could be.
Learning to See What Others Might Miss
When many people walk into a home, they see rooms.
I see relationships.
I notice how people interact and move through a space. I see where they naturally gather, what works, and what doesn’t.
I notice the room that is rarely used, the chair no one ever sits in, and the formal dining room reserved for two holidays each year.
I notice the kitchen where everyone wants to gather—but where there isn’t one comfortable place for them to be together.
I don’t judge any of these things. I simply become curious and ask:
What if?
What if that wall disappeared?
What if the kitchen opened into the family room?
What if the formal living room became a library?
What if the guest bedroom became a yoga studio, home office, or creative space?
Suddenly, people begin to see possibilities they couldn’t see just five or ten minutes earlier.
Not because the house changed, but because their perspective did.
The Invisible Walls in Our Lives
Then, one day, I realized that the walls weren’t only in people’s homes.
They were also in their thinking:
- “I’m too old.”
- “This is just the way life is.”
- “I’ll start living after retirement.”
- “I could never do that.”
Whatever “that” might be.
These walls can be much harder to remove than drywall because they are invisible. They are built one assumption, one fear, and one postponement at a time.
After enough years, they begin to feel permanent.
They become barriers that prevent us from seeing what might still be possible in our homes and our lives.
And then it happened to me.
When I Finally Saw My Own Walls
For years, I had helped other people see beyond the walls in their homes. Then life handed me an unexpected invitation to do the same for myself.
When I returned home from a life-changing visit to Senegal, I walked through my beautiful house—the home I loved, the rooms I had carefully designed, and the furnishings I had collected over time.
But something had changed. Not the house.
Me.
For the first time, instead of seeing beautiful things, I simply saw stuff.
That realization startled me—not because there was anything wrong with my home, but because I had changed more than my surroundings had.
I wasn’t rejecting beauty.
I was redefining what beauty meant to me.
I began to imagine a simpler life with less stuff, less responsibility, and more freedom.
The Gift of Decluttering and Editing
As I began decluttering, downsizing, and letting go, something remarkable happened:
The more I edited, the more clearly I could see.
Every item I chose to keep earned a special place in my smaller home and in my new life.
Not because it was expensive.
Not because it was fashionable.
But because it held meaning.
Today, when I look around my home, I know the story behind everything I own. My meaningful possessions no longer have to compete with countless other things for my attention.
There is less visual noise.
There is more peace.
That experience taught me something I will never forget:
When we have too much, nothing truly stands out.
Not in our homes.
Not in our calendars.
Not even in our relationships.
Editing your life isn’t about deprivation. It’s about revealing what matters most.
We All Need Help Seeing Beyond Our Blind Spots
Here is something I want to say out loud:
Even as an interior designer who helps clients “see through walls,” I couldn’t fully see my own walls, barriers, and blind spots.
It took my experience in Senegal to help me understand how people could live happily with less.
It took change and downsizing for me to realize that I didn’t need more.
I needed less.
It took other people to help me see what I hadn’t been able to see for myself.
And it took asking some difficult, honest questions.
That is what decluttering, downsizing, and letting go are really about. They invite us to look beyond our belongings and ask what kind of life we truly want to create.
We all have blind spots. Every single one of us.
That is why I believe so deeply in meaningful conversation. Not because I have all the answers—I don’t.
But sometimes another person asks the one question that changes everything.
One question can quietly reveal a door where we thought there was only a wall.
What Is Lifestyle Design?
People often ask me:
“What exactly is lifestyle design?”
This is it.
Lifestyle design isn’t simply about creating a prettier home or a more attractive life. It is about creating a life that reflects who you are now and what matters most to you.
Just as every room should have a purpose, every season of life deserves intentional design.
Sometimes that means redesigning your kitchen.
Sometimes it means redesigning your priorities.
Sometimes it means opening a wall.
Sometimes it means opening your mind.
Either way, the goal is the same: to create a life in which your home, possessions, time, and relationships reflect what you have intentionally chosen.
What Wall Have You Accepted as Permanent?
I’d like to ask you the same question I now ask myself whenever I feel stuck:
What wall have I accepted as permanent that may simply require a new way of looking at it?
Take a moment to write that question down and sit with it.
After more than 40 years of asking questions as an interior designer, I’ve learned that clarity rarely arrives all at once.
It arrives quietly—one honest answer at a time.
If you are in the messy middle of deciding whether to declutter or downsize before or after retirement, be patient with yourself.
Be curious.
Keep asking questions:
- What experiences are you longing for?
- What would you like more time to enjoy?
- What are you ready to release?
- What are you hoping to make room for?
When those answers become clear, decisions about your home and your next chapter often become surprisingly clear as well.
Are You Waiting Well—or Waiting for Life?
There is a beautiful phrase I’d like to share with you:
Waiting well.
Waiting well means your life is already expanding.
You are volunteering, traveling, building new friendships, trying new things, and editing your belongings to create more space for what matters most.
You are living intentionally.
You aren’t pressing pause.
You are preparing.
Waiting for life is something entirely different.
It is the belief that your best years are scheduled to begin on some future date—perhaps when you retire, move, downsize, or finally have more time.
I don’t believe that.
And I don’t think you do either.
Life isn’t waiting for retirement.
It is waiting for you to participate.
A Quiet Invitation
I’d like to leave you with one final question:
If nothing changed over the next five years—not your home, your routines, your relationships, or the way you spend your days—would you feel deeply satisfied?
Or would there be a quiet voice inside you saying: “There must be more life waiting for me.”
If you hear that voice, please don’t ignore it.
It may be gently inviting you toward your next chapter.
Don’t wait too long.
Waiting may be costing you more than you realize.
Continue the Conversation
If you enjoyed this article and would like to explore more meaningful conversations about decluttering, downsizing, intentional living, and creating your next chapter, I invite you to join My Simplicity Circle.
Inside this membership community, we look beyond the walls—both visible and invisible—and discover how to create more space for what matters most.
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