Before we talk about whether you should downsize before or after retirement, let’s talk about something even more important: You.
As an interior designer, before I begin talking with a client about downsizing, moving, floor plans, or which furniture they’re taking with them, I start somewhere else.
I ask questions. Lots of questions.
In fact, my two sons still tease me by saying, “You know my mom is going to ask you a thousand questions.”
And they’re absolutely right.
Every time they say it, I smile because, after more than 40 years as an interior designer, I’ve learned something that has shaped not only my career but also my life: Good design begins with curiosity.
Good Design Is About More Than Paint and Furniture
People sometimes assume they hire an interior designer because they need help choosing paint colors, furniture, or fabrics.
That couldn’t be further from the truth. Those are simply tools.
The real work begins long before that. It begins with understanding the people who will live in the home.
- How do they spend their mornings?
- Where do they gather as a family?
- Do they love to entertain, or do they crave quiet evenings with a good book?
- Are they travelers or homebodies?
- What frustrates them about their house?
- What brings them joy?
- What do they wish they had more of—or less of?
I ask question after question because every answer reveals another piece of their story. Only then can I begin designing a home that feels authentically theirs.
When I finally reveal the completed space, something wonderful happens.
People don’t walk in and say, “This looks like a designer did it.”
Instead, they say, “This feels like our home.”
To me, that is the greatest compliment I could ever receive because beautiful design was never the only goal.
Helping people feel at home was.
Helping them create a home that works for them and supports their lifestyle has always been my goal.
From Designing Homes to Designing Lives
People often ask how I went from being an interior designer to becoming the Downsizing Designer.
The truth is, I don’t think I ever left interior design. I simply expanded the scope of my projects.
Years ago, I was designing homes and buildings.
Today, I’m helping people design their lives.
The questions haven’t really changed. Only the conversations have.
Instead of simply asking, “How many people will gather around your dining table?” I now also ask, “How do you want to spend your Saturdays?”
Instead of asking, “Do you need a formal living room?” I ask, “What kind of life are you trying to create over the next 10 or 20 years?”
Instead of asking, “Which sofa do you love?” I ask, “What experiences are you longing to make room for?”
Before I can help someone decide when to downsize, I need to understand why they want to downsize.
Or, perhaps even more importantly, why they haven’t already.
The Question Behind the Downsizing Question
When someone asks me, “Should I downsize before retirement or after retirement?” I rarely answer immediately.
Instead, I become curious.
- Tell me about your life.
- What excites you about retirement?
- What worries you?
- What do you hope your days will look like?
- If I came back five years from now and your life was everything you hoped it would be, what would be different?
Sometimes the answers come quickly.
Sometimes there is silence.
I’ve learned not to rush that silence because that is often where the truth lives.
One woman looked at me with tears in her eyes and quietly said, “I don’t even know what I want anymore. I’ve spent so many years taking care of everyone else that I haven’t stopped to think about what I want.”
That had nothing to do with square footage.
It had everything to do with rediscovering herself.
Another gentleman smiled and said, “I just want to spend more afternoons fishing with my grandson while he still thinks I’m cool.”
Again, that wasn’t about the size of his house.
It was about his priorities.
That is why I ask questions—not because I’m looking for the right answer, but because I’m looking for your answer.
Retirement Isn’t Just a Date on the Calendar
One of the biggest myths we’ve accepted is that retirement begins the day you stop working.
I don’t believe that anymore.
Retirement is a transition, and transitions aren’t experienced in a single day. They are designed.
Just as you wouldn’t expect an architect to design a beautiful home in an afternoon, you shouldn’t expect yourself to create a meaningful retirement overnight.
The people I see thriving in retirement rarely wake up one morning and suddenly know exactly how they want to spend every day.
They’ve been experimenting for years.
They’ve been paying attention.
They’ve been allowing themselves to grow into their next chapter.
Without realizing it, they’ve been rehearsing retirement.
Don’t Wait Until Retirement to Start Living
This is such an important message.
What if retirement isn’t something you simply wait for?
What if it’s something you gradually grow into?
Imagine beginning today—not by selling your house or making a dramatic announcement, but by asking yourself one simple question:
If I had one extra day every week, how would I spend it?
Would you:
- Volunteer?
- Take a painting class?
- Learn photography?
- Walk on the beach every afternoon?
- Travel more often?
- Spend Fridays with your grandchildren?
- Work three days instead of five, if your circumstances allow?
- Reconnect with friends outside your professional circle?
- Begin decluttering one room each month?
Notice something:
None of those things requires retirement.
They require intention.
I’ve watched too many people postpone joy because they believe it belongs to a future version of themselves.
But life has a way of reminding us that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. The healthiest years of our lives are precious.
Why save all your dreams for a day that hasn’t arrived yet?
Does Your Home Support the Life You’re Creating?
As an interior designer, I’ve always believed every room should have a purpose.
If a room wasn’t being used, I asked why.
Could it become a reading room?
A music room?
A home office?
A place where the grandchildren love to gather?
I reimagined the space based on the life my clients wanted to live.
Perhaps it’s time to ask the same questions about your own home: Does your home support the life you are creating today?
Or is it supporting a life that no longer exists?
There is no judgment in that question—only curiosity.
Homes, like people, evolve.
The house that was perfect when children filled every bedroom may no longer be the house that best serves two people dreaming about travel, freedom, and new adventures.
That doesn’t diminish the memories you created there.
It simply honors the reality that life moves forward.
Before You Compare the Pros and Cons of Downsizing
In the next article in this series, I’ll explore the practical reasons to downsize before retirement and why waiting isn’t always the best plan.
We’ll talk honestly about:
- Finances
- Energy
- Health
- Freedom
- Timing
- The hidden cost of waiting
But before we do, I hope you’ll spend a little time answering the questions I ask every client.
Not because you need a perfect answer.
Because clarity always begins with curiosity.
After asking thousands of questions over the course of my career, I’ve discovered something that still amazes me: The right questions have a way of quietly leading us toward the right life.
This conversation isn’t only about downsizing and decluttering for retirement. It is about becoming curious about the life you want next.
I’ve never helped people change their lives simply by giving them answers. I’ve helped them transform their lives by asking the questions they may never have paused long enough to ask.
And that can make all the difference.
Frequently Asked Questions About Downsizing and Retirement
Should I downsize before or after retirement?
There is no single right time for everyone. Downsizing before retirement may give you more energy and flexibility for the move, while waiting may give you greater clarity about your retirement income and lifestyle. Begin by considering your health, finances, home maintenance, priorities, and vision for the years ahead.
How do I know whether I’m emotionally ready to downsize?
You may be ready when the life you hope to create feels more important than maintaining a home that no longer serves you. Feeling sadness about leaving does not automatically mean the decision is wrong. You can honor your memories while choosing a home that better supports your future.
What should I do before deciding to move?
Start by imagining how you want your days to feel and function. Then assess whether your current home supports that lifestyle. You can also begin decluttering gradually, explore possible communities, review your finances, and talk openly with the people who may be affected by the move.
Continue the Downsizing Before Retirement Series
If this article has inspired you, read or watch the next installment in this series: The Case for Downsizing Before Retirement: Why Waiting Isn’t Always the Best Plan
And if you enjoy thoughtful conversations about downsizing, decluttering, and creating a simpler, more intentional life, consider joining My Simplicity Circle. Click the link below to learn more and join us.
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