How to Decide When the Time Is Right for You
“Rita, when do you think I should downsize?”
It is one of the questions I am asked most often.
Recently, after one of my speaking engagements, a woman waited patiently until everyone else had left the room. Then she walked over, lowered her voice, and asked as if she were sharing a secret.
“Can I ask you something? My husband retires in two years. We know our house is becoming too much for us, but we don’t know whether we should move now or wait until after retirement.”
A few days later, I received an email from a gentleman in his late 60s.
“Our house has been paid off for 15 years. Financially, we’re in good shape, but we’re tired of taking care of a home that is much bigger than we need. Should we downsize now while we’re both healthy, or should we wait until we’re retired?”
Then one of my coaching clients expressed another common concern:
“We’re afraid of making the wrong decision.”
I have come to realize that people are not simply asking me about real estate. They are looking for reassurance.
They want to know that it is okay to:
- Question whether a home they have loved for decades still works for them
- Imagine a different kind of future
- Believe that life could become richer in a smaller space
- Begin their next chapter before retirement
Perhaps most of all, they want to know that they do not have to wait.
Should You Downsize Before or After Retirement?
The best time to downsize depends on your health, finances, family responsibilities, lifestyle goals, and how well your current home supports the way you want to live.
For some people, downsizing before retirement creates more freedom, fewer expenses, and more time to enjoy life while they are still healthy and active. For others, waiting until after retirement offers greater financial clarity and time to decide where and how they want to live.
There is no single right answer. The real question is whether your current home is supporting your life or quietly standing in the way of it.
We Were Taught to Wait
Think about the messages many of us grew up hearing:
- Work hard
- Save your money
- Pay off the mortgage
- Raise your children
- Retire
- Then travel, volunteer, learn something new, and spend more time with your grandchildren
- Finally, relax
Do you notice the pattern?
We postpone living.
Almost without realizing it, we create an invisible line in the sand called retirement. We convince ourselves that everything meaningful will begin on the other side of it.
I understand why. I used to think that way too.
But after working with thousands of people and navigating my own major life transitions, I have come to believe something very different:
The life you are dreaming about does not have to wait until retirement.
In fact, believing that it does may be one of the biggest misconceptions we have about this season of life.
When the House Becomes the Source of Exhaustion
Several years ago, I met a woman who was 63, successful in her career, and still working. She and her husband lived in the beautiful family home where they had raised their children.
Everything looked perfect.
The home was beautifully maintained. The gardens were immaculate. Every room reflected years of love and care.
Yet as we sat together at her kitchen table, she quietly admitted something she had never said aloud before.
“I’m exhausted. Not from work. From the house.”
She continued: “Every weekend is the same. We clean rooms we rarely use. We mow a yard that has become more of a burden than a pleasure. We spend our Saturdays maintaining a life that doesn’t really fit us anymore.”
Then she asked the question I hear so often:
“Should we wait until retirement to downsize?”
Instead of immediately answering, I asked her a different question.
“What do you hope retirement will look like?”
She smiled for the first time since we sat down.
“We want to travel. We would love to spend the winter somewhere warmer. I have always wanted to volunteer at a pet adoption center. My husband wants to learn woodworking. I would also like to spend more time with our grandchildren.”
As she spoke, something became very clear.
None of those dreams required retirement.
Yet every one of them was being postponed because she and her husband were waiting for retirement to signal that it was finally time to begin.
The Question Behind the Downsizing Question
People often ask:
“Should I downsize before retirement or after retirement?”
But I do not think that is the real question.
The deeper question is:
When do I want to begin living the life I have been dreaming about?
Those are two very different questions.
One is about your house.
The other is about your life.
That is why there is no simple answer. Some people truly should wait before downsizing. Others could benefit tremendously from making the move sooner.
My role has never been to tell people what they should do. My role is to help them make the decision that is right for their lives.
Because downsizing has never been the ultimate goal.
What 40 Years as an Interior Designer Taught Me
For more than four decades, I helped people redesign their homes.
On the surface, it may have looked like I was choosing fabrics, arranging furniture, and creating beautiful spaces. Of course, I was doing those things, but that was never the full extent of my work.
My real work was helping people create homes and businesses that supported the way they wanted to live.
A beautifully designed room that no one enjoys is not successful design.
A formal living room that is used twice a year, while the homeowners long for a cozy reading nook, is not supporting their lifestyle.
A home that consumes every weekend with cleaning and maintenance is not serving the people who live there.
Your home should serve you, not the other way around.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that this same philosophy applies to life itself.
Just as we redesign our homes to fit changing seasons, we sometimes need to redesign our lives.
The home that fit a family of five may no longer fit two people approaching retirement.
The lifestyle that worked while you were building a career may not be the lifestyle you want now.
That is not failure.
That is growth. That is life evolving.
Do Not Wait Until Retirement to Start Living
This is where I want to challenge you.
What if retirement is not the starting line?
What if it is simply one milestone in a journey you have already begun?
What if you started creating your next chapter now?
That might mean:
- Asking your employer if you can work four days instead of five
- Taking the two week trip you have been postponing
- Volunteering one afternoon each week
- Joining a hiking club
- Taking an art or photography class
- Reconnecting with an old passion
- Spending more meaningful time with your grandchildren
- Decluttering one room each month to create space for what comes next
You do not have to overhaul your entire life overnight.
You simply have to stop believing that your real life begins after retirement.
Begin With the Life You Want
Before deciding whether you should downsize before or after retirement, take the house out of the conversation for a moment.
Instead, think about the life you want to create over the next 10 or 20 years.
Ask yourself:
- How do I want to spend my days?
- What experiences do I want to have?
- How much time do I want to devote to maintaining a home?
- What would I do with more freedom, energy, or financial flexibility?
- Does my current home support that vision?
- Is waiting helping me prepare, or is it helping me avoid the decision?
Once your vision becomes clearer, deciding when to downsize often becomes much easier.
There Is No Universal Downsizing Timeline
In my next video, I will take an honest look at the advantages of downsizing before retirement.
It is not the right choice for everyone. But for many people, moving earlier opens doors they never imagined possible.
I will also explore the situations in which waiting to downsize may be the wiser decision.
There is no single timeline that works for everyone.
There is only the timeline that best supports the life you want to live.
Make sure you watch the next video in this series using the link below. If you would like to be notified when it is available, subscribe to my channel and click the notification bell.
You can also explore my newest playlist about reinventing retirement and creating a meaningful next chapter.
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